Adolescence: a critical stage for our children

Adolescence: a critical stage for our children

"You're not alone. You belong to a family and some friends. You are part of a town or city, a land, a country and a culture. Enjoy and enjoy the things and people that life has put in your way. Be glad to be part of it all. Growing up is a beautiful adventure that demands effort and not a game for whimsical. ”

Anyone who talks to young people knows that The adolescence stage, from 12 to 18 years old, is a critical period. The parents and teachers of the quinceañeros will not have to be reminded of the frustrations and helplessness that they have been able to experience because of the adjustments and problems of adolescents at that stage.

The child enters adolescence with a good part of the feelings, attitudes, abilities and dependencies of his previous life, and it is normal to expect this stage to be fully prepared to behave as a responsible person in the adult world. But the truth is that this preparation is usually not adequate; Most of the young people spend their time trying to correct the gaps they find in their abilities, in their confidence and self-knowledge, gaps that they could not fill during their teenage years.

Adolescence is the last stage in which parents and educators can take an active part and help children sit their vital paths; the last stage in which we can be a daily example, advise, organize family activities, offer varied opportunities and keep in touch with the educational process. When adolescence ends, most young people get to work, go to college or get married; or what is the same, enters a world totally yours. And we must be willing to give them free rein so they can live their lives as best as possible, loving and helping them at a distance.

One of the most important resources that can be provided to a teenager is the feeling of his own worth, precisely in these times of rapid changes and family disorganization. This feeling is a force that the adolescent carries within him and if he is well rooted and he knows how to keep it in good condition, he will always accompany him and can rely on him throughout his life.

The relationship parents with their teenage children

Very few current parents are unharmed from their teenage years. While the adolescent goes through the speed of a cyclone many stages (growth, social pressures, moods, whims, etc ...) parents often feel they are enduring as they can. They experience great anxieties for the well-being of their teenage son. Before, while children were younger, relationships were more bearable and now, with adolescence, problems seem to grow.

Teenagers' development and problems threaten us in many ways.. We must learn to accept the threat and to handle our feelings honestly to solve the problems that arise with greater effectiveness. This is something like what the psychologist should do when finishing his career and before getting to work in contact with patients. You must recognize your own weaknesses to be able to attend without mixing your own feelings inspired or moved by many patients.

Thus, returning to adolescence, some of the issues that would be part of the conciliatory examination to be carried out by the parents so as not to show ambiguity of feelings in their relationships with adolescents are the following:

  • What do I feel towards my teenage son right now?
  • What does a teenage son mean to me?
  • Do I see my teenage son as future insurance in the face of loneliness or the economic needs of my own life?
  • Do I want him to meet my expectations and ambitions?
  • Isn't it that I don't trust him because I wasn't trustworthy when he was his age?
  • Do your youth, your vitality and the promises that your life contains make me feel less capable?
  • Won't I demand more for the anguish that the passage of time causes me?
  • Am I afraid of losing control and the power I exert over him?

As a father or mother you must answer honestly to the questions formulated above because in this way the way will open for you to accept and accept your teenage children as human beings.

Knowing how you think, what you feel towards him, you can help him raise behaviors that are the basis of mutual respect.

If you can see you as a person first, and as a father later, you will probably be able to nurture your child in a more complete way.